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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

2013 Emmy Awards Skin-O-Meter Ratings

The Skin-O-Meter is cranked back up and the results from the 2013 Emmy Awards are in. We have devised the Skin-O-Meter in order to rate the dresses worn. It is a scale from 0 to 100, with 100 being the top rating. It is just our overall opinion but a high rating will involve copious cleavage filled out appropriately as well other skin, such as leg, display. Selected luminaries are rated. We think this is a poor year and few will earn anything near top marks.

Heidi Klum 79: This dress show an admirable figure to nice effect and some clavicle display. Otherwise?

Sophia Veraga 93: This is about as good as it gets this year. A beautiful woman and shows some really nice cleavage.

Sarah Paulson 75: Gets points for effort, but you have to fill out the dress, girl!

Danielle Brooks 93: This is the kind of cleavage display we like. She could show more, but we feel that she deserves points for filling it out appropriately.

Carrie Ann Inaba 79: Nice cleavage display, but we need more!

Jane Krakowski 78: More clavicle and it is a little busy on top and is distracting.

Jennifer Westfeldt 79: Like Inaba a nice effort, but needs to fill it out better.

Katrina Bowden 78: Great attempt again, but we do not see much.

Lisa Rinna 79: In line with most of what the season has to offer.

Kerry Washington 79: We do see some nice curves here.

Lena Dunham 72: Gets a few points for attempt, but the dress and makeup are just too weird.

Cat Deeley 50: Gets the Paltrow award for trying and not having enough. She just does not appeal very much.

Claire Danes 78: Nice attempt at cleavage, but not with enough to share.

Bridgid Coulter 82: Good looking cleavage display with enough to back it up.

Alfre Woodard 83: Nice size, but we would like to see more.

Lauren Parksekian 83: She shows us what we need to see.

Anna Faris 83: More of what we want.

Guiliana Rancic 84: Nice cleavage.

Nancy O'Dell 84: Cleavage is improving.

Shawn Robinson 84: Nice boob view.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Blue State Liberal Hubris

In the wake of the Connecticut school shootings, calls have come again for gun control. This is a show hubris by “Blue State” liberals. They must realize that the last time Democrats called for stricter gun control, the Republicans seized the issue and gained a majority in the House of Representatives. I do not think that the Republicans really represent the economic interests of most “Red Staters.” However, the Republicans were able to leverage this issue to put them into a position that allows obstruction of any progressive and needed policy, like health care. Recent news coverage estimates annual gun deaths in the United States to be between eight and thirty thousand. While tragic, I have to wonder how many more millions of lives will be lost due to inadequate health care that results from an issue, like gun control, that drives voters to the right.

Friday, September 21, 2012

ENDEAVOUR: NORTH BERKELEY FLYBY!!!Breaking News! Here are a couple of images as the Space Shuttle Endeavour does a flyby of North Berkeley! Enjoy.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Christine McKinley Strikes Out Again

On a recent episode of “Brand Meltzer's Decoded”, the crew is investigating the “Alaska Triangle,” an area delimited by the cities of Juneau, Anchorage and Barrow. Apparently there is a much higher rate of disappearance of people and aircraft in this area than in the rest of the state. This triangle contains three of the largest cities in the 49th state, Juneau, Anchorage and Fairbanks as well as the Alaska Pipeline. This is the area where the majority of travel occurs and therefore the greatest chance of disappearance. Engineer Christine McKinley and writer Buddy Levy take a bush plane ride to follow the route taken by Congressmen Nick Begich and Hale Boggs whose plane disappears in Alaska during the 1960s. McKinley notes that the plane's compass is gyrating and says that when a scientific instrument acts in an anomalous fashion, it must indicate an unusual occurrence. It is not unusual for a compass to swing back and forth after a turn. It takes a few seconds to a minute for it to settle on the new heading. The bush plane is also experiencing turbulence, which could also cause compass gyrations. It is not clear if the pilot is making a turn or if they are feeling the effects of turbulence, but Christine McKinley, claiming science assumes the mantle of fool.

Monday, February 27, 2012

2012 Academy Awards Skin-O-Meter Readings

It is now time for the 2012 Skin-O-Meter Ratings for the Academy Awards. We have devised the Skin-O-Meter in order to rate the dresses worn. It is a scale from 0 to 100, with 100 being the top rating. It is just our overall opinion but a high rating will involve copious cleavage filled out appropriately as well other skin, such as leg, display. Selected celebrities are rated. This is an historic appraisal because we have our first perfect score.

Jennifer Lopez 100: Jennifer Lopez is always on the leading edge of cleavage display. With her delightful “Wardrobe Malfunction,” she boosts the art into the stratosphere. We love J. Lo!

Angelina Jolie 82: Not much to see in the upper body area, but she gets points for flashing the gam.

Stacy Kiebler 80: She is attractive and the dress fits nicely.

Melissa McCarthy 50: Frumpy and Dumpy. As a big girl McCarthy needs to go big with cleavage. Draw the eye to your chest.

Alexandra Lamy 83: Good neckline plunge. We would like to see it filled out better.

Kelly Osbourne 72: She has a great figure and the dress shows it but, as with the Grammies, she needs to show off what she's got.

Bo Derek 82: The body still looks good and we get a hint of cleavage.

Melanie Griffith 78: Like Derek she still looks good, but we need to see some more of those famous tatas.

Natalie Portman 77: Very pretty, but as with many of these women, we see skin, but it falls short of what we need.

Sandra Bullock 77: Gets some points for bare back. Otherwise?

Penelope Cruz 78: More of the same.

Gwyneth Paltrow 78: She actually improves because for her less is more. Abandoning the plunging necklines and adopting this form fitting dress is an improvement. We love her topless in “Shakespeare in Love,” but somehow the plunges do not work for her.

Sheri Shepherd 90: Excellent cleavage and bra display. What the Red Carpet should be.

Meryl Streep 75: Goes for the plunge, but we spent the whole evening trying to see something.

Annie Mumlol 88: Her dress shows off her body well and decent chasm.

Sheila E 88: Great fit and encouraging display.

Kristen Wigg 75: Adequate attempt, but does not fill it out well.

Octavia Spencer 83: It is an attractive dress that exhibits her body so well. Like McCarthy, she is a big girl who needs to go big with cleavage. She owes it to larger women everywhere to be more of a sex symbol.

Rooney Mara 60: Takes over Paltrow's crown for non workable low neckline. We love her nude in film and think she would be better served with a skin tight, bra less look.

Michelle Williams 78: Run of the mill for the season.

Viola Davis 90: Nice color dress and we could not keep our eyes off her upper body.

Maya Rudolf 72: Magnificent shape but lacking revelation.

Jane Seymore 85: Although getting older, she shows some of the young ones how to do it.

Nancy O'Dell 88: Exhibits the Great Valley.

Mother Dolores Hart N/A: She is a nun and it would be a sin. We do appreciate that she wears the old school, imperious habit. We think nuns have lost something since they start to dress like peasant girls in the 1970s.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Corruption in Drug Testing

Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers has had his fifty game suspension for use of performance enhancing drugs overturned. Apparently, protocols for handling of samples were not followed causing MLB to void the suspension. The sample taker, Dino Laurenzi, Jr., kept Braun's specimen in his home refrigerator instead of turning it over to FedEx as required by Baseball's labor agreement. Last week, Eric Davis, co-host of The Drive on 95.7 The Game, proclaimed that Braun's test was dirty and that he got off on a technicality.

There are reasons for technicalities. Human beings are imperfect and subject to mistakes and corruption. In his column in the San Francisco Chronicle, Scott Ostler parodies the late defense attorney, Johnnie Cochran, “'If you don't ship the pee, he must go free.'”

This reference to the O.J. Simpson case was fitting. Setting aside the questions of O.J.'s guilt or innocence, it was at least demonstrated if not proved that Los Angeles Police detectives planted blood evidence around his property. A technician took a blood sample from Simpson and did not turn it in immediately. A detective took blood samples off a fence that DNA testing showed to be Simpson's. Additional testing by the defense showed that the sample contained a preservative that does not occur in the human body. A reasonable conclusion was that the detective had taken some of the blood drawn from O.J. and planted it on the fence.

The point is that Eric Davis can not say for certain that Ryan Bruan's test is dirty. The state of his test is unknown because procedures and protocols are not followed. Ryan Braun says he does not use PEDs and volunteers for a DNA test. He is saying that somehow the specimen he gives is traded for another contaminated one.

Now, what are the reasons that Mr. Laurenzi, or someone else, might substitute for Mr. Braun's specimen? Money and blackmail are the most obvious answers. It is possible that nefarious individuals are threatening innocent ballplayers with substitution of dirty tests for clean ones or offering, for a price, the substitution of clean samples for contaminated ones. Maybe the ballplayers are somehow setting up MLB by managing to substitute dirty tests for clean ones of supposedly innocent players resulting in the discrediting of the program. The players may then be able to resume using steroids without interference. Maybe MLB and certain players are in cahoots, because the steroid era was certainly beneficial for baseball. The preceding scenarios are speculation and examples and there is no implication that anyone acts improperly. It is also speculation to say that Ryan Braun's has a positive test. We just do not know.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Hypocrit on the Gridiron

During the past football season much has been made of Tim Tebow and the practice of Tebowing, named for the player's habit of kneeling down after a touchdown or win presumably to honor Jesus. If Tim Tebow must thank God publicly for every touchdown and win, should he not also honor Him for interceptions and losses? He might pray for forgiveness, improvement or to give thanks for the lesson in humility. It is funny, but many Bible Thumpers appear as though they have never read the Bible. During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus pretty much says thou shalt not Tebow (Matt 6:5-6). Tim Tebow certainly puts one in mind of the hypocrite in the temple.